


Fool's Gift

by novemberrabbit



Series: Truth Or Consequences [1]
Category: Broken Reality Server - Fandom, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: BREU - broken reality extended universe, Crack Treated Seriously, Discord: Broken Reality AU (My Hero Academia), Gen, Hearts, Implied Murder, It's All Original Characters, Organs, Valentine's Day, kind of, mention of organ trafficking, set in the BNHA universe but completely cut off from the canon storyline, this whole thing is just crack treated seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26489611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novemberrabbit/pseuds/novemberrabbit
Summary: “Hey, what’s with this cold reaction? I went out of my way preparing an expensive gift for you guys and except from Court, I don’t even get a ‘thank you’ from any of you?”Jester looked at her disbelievingly, as if she can’t comprehend what she’s saying. Then her eyes darted back to the ‘gift’ Fool had given them, sitting innocently on the wooden table. Well, it would have been innocent, if it weren’t for its content.In which someone took giving out Valentine's gifts a little too far.Honestly, a box of heart-shaped chocolates could have very well done the job too.
Relationships: Fool | Wise Fool & Cryptic | Catalyst, Fool | Wise Fool & Hekate (BR), Fool | Wise Fool & League Of Lunatics, Original Character & Original Character
Series: Truth Or Consequences [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933432
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Fool's Gift

**Author's Note:**

> Only a small handful of people actually know who any of these characters are and that's because they are all based on them.
> 
> This AU was born in the depths of the Broken Reality Discord Server.

Jester stared in horror at the open packet in front of her, while Court peered into it curiously, interest evident in his eyes.

“Fool,” Durple was the first one who managed to speak up again, finally interrupting the long silence that had come into the room the moment the older villain had handed them the lavishly packaged box.

Their self-proclaimed leader seemed a little green in her face. “Fool, _what the hell is this?”_

“What do you mean? It’s obviously my valentine’s gift for you guys.” Fool leaned back in her seat, idly counting the bills in her hands. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

Today had been pretty lucrative. A wealthy citizen had gotten lost in the neighborhood and entered the laundromat, asking for directions. Needless to say, she had taken advantage of this opportunity to snatch their purse from them when they didn’t pay attention. After all, good deeds should be generously rewarded.

“Valentine’s- “ Jester almost chocked on her words as she tried to process what Fool told them. Next to her stood Cipher, who seemed to be unsure whether to be amused or mortified by this whole thing.

Court jumped up in excitement and almost knocked over Durple who yelped in surprise. “Oh, how cool! Thanks, Fool!”

She smiled, pleased to see at least one of them finally showing some appreciation for her effort. The others only continued to stare ashen faced at her, making no move to follow Court’s enthusiasm.

Fool huffed. _Ungrateful brats._

“Hey, what’s with this cold reaction? I went out of my way preparing an expensive gift for you guys and except from Court, I don’t even get a ‘thank you’ from any of you?”

Jester looked at her disbelievingly, as if she can’t comprehend what she’s saying. Then her eyes darted back to the ‘gift’ Fool had given, sitting innocently on the wooden table. Well, it _would_ have seemed innocent, if it weren’t for its content.

“Fool. That’s _…_ that’s _a human heart.”_

“Yes I know, Terry,” she replied, impatience evident in her voice. “I was the one who removed it from the body, so I know very well what this is. What’s your point?”

Akin to a dam being broken, every league member started to loudly talk back to her at the exact same second, their voices immediately getting tangled up with each other and resulting in one giant headache-inducing noise.

_“What the fuck, Fool?!”_

_“Fool, we talked about this, you can’t just bring organs into our laundromat- “_

_“What kind of person would give a_ human heart _as Valentine’s gift- “_

“Ooh, I could do so much with a human heart!!”

Abruptly, everyone quietened down as they all whipped their heads in the direction of Court, the one who had said the last sentence. He smiled sheepishly.

“I mean, it’s not everyday you get your hands at a human’s heart!” He threw his hands in the air, as their stares became even more incredulous, voice immediately becoming defensive.

“But I was joking! Mostly…” Court mumbled under his breath.

“See?” Fool nodded towards him. “At least Court knows to appreciate how rare and precious my present is.”

She sounded offended at how little most of the LOL seemed to care for her gift. “Do you even know how much a human heart can cost if you were to sell it?”

Jester moved a little bit away from the box as it was situated directly in front of her. The strong iron smell of fresh blood was nauseating.

“Please just give us actual money next time,” she said weakly, internally shaking her head at Fool’s lunacy.

Durple and Cipher both vigorously nodded in agreement in the background – _wait, since when were these two this far away from the table?_ Jester could have sworn that they had been sitting next to her just a moment ago.

Fool narrowed her eyes, obviously displeased with their request.

“Well, you can sell the heart then. That way you’ll still get your money.”

“We don’t even know how to do that! You’re the only one with the right contacts who can actually sell it!” Jester protested.

“That’s right!” Durple piped up behind her, still a safe distance away from the bloody organ. Oh god, it looked like it was still beating.

“Well then,” Fool gave them a saccharine smile, “If you want, I can sell it for you then. But my help doesn’t come cheaply.”

Durple groaned. “She’s going to bleed us dry with this once again! At the end, there will probably be almost nothing left for us.”

The purple-haired villain cautiously inched closer to the cursed gift Fool brought them and threw a dark glare towards her. She still remembered her poor twenty-dollar bill that got stolen during her first encounter with the other, as well as the countless other bills and coins that got plundered afterwards.

Durple briefly considered whether she should try and call Hekate who, despite not being a member of their group, was probably one of the only people Fool actually took effort in listening to.

She wished Fae was here. He was the one in the league who had the highest success rate in reasoning with Fool, not as high as Hekate, but still.

Unfortunately for them, Fae had been gone since this morning, no one quite sure where exactly he had wandered off to. Court had said that he might be on a date, since today was Valentine’s Day.

Durple had almost not noticed the arrival of this holiday until Court had pointed it out. Not that it had made much of a difference.

Valentine’s Day never really had played a big role in her life.

She wasn’t the type of person who received any gifts after all, especially not on a day like Valentine’s that was dedicated to celebrating your loved ones.

And yet, here she was, receiving her very first Valentine’s gift _which was a human organ and looked like taken straight out of a horror movie._

Huh.

Maybe this was why Court was so excited about it, Durple thought. Just like her, this was his first Valentine’s gift.

A disturbing gift that she _really didn’t have any use for and honestly, what the fuck Fool?_

Fool rolled her eyes at the still outraged faces of the others. Leaning forward, she put her elbows on the table and let her chin rest on her interlaced fingers, giving them a sharp grin.

“Does it help if I tell you guys that this is the heart of that obnoxious little guy from a few months ago, the one who almost killed Court and Durple and put Court in a three day coma?”

Silence.

They blinked at her, mouth agape, processing what she’d just said.

The memory of that fight was still fresh in their minds, as well as the grating jeers of the arrogant hero who had somehow managed to pick out every single emotional vulnerability Durple possessed and mercilessly attacked them.

Court and her almost didn’t survive him. The rest of the LOL had barely arrived in time to save them and to chase the asshole away before the worst could happen. The injuries inflicted on them by him still ached.

And while the others had only briefly met him, unlike Court and Durple who had the displeasure of a long, drawn-out fight, they all had still absolutely hated his guts.

She still remembers the rare sight of both Cipher and Jester being absolutely furious during that whole ordeal.

And now, they apparently had the heart of this jerk _which meant-_

Jester looked down at the gift with newfound appreciation, while Cipher clasped her hands together in delight.

Court clutched his chest, something Durple learned to interpret as him being taken by surprise or feeling happy, eyes gleaming.

A wide smile slowly formed on Durple’s lips and she laughed, feeling thrilled at this revelation.

“I’m giving you the heart of your enemies as valentine’s gift,” Fool said with a smug expression on her face. “Can’t be anything more romantic than that, right? Since that’s what this holiday is all about. Well, happy Valentine’s Day.”

* * *

Extra scene 1:

Cryptic hadn’t expected any deliveries today and she quietly contemplated the medium-sized box in her hands that she had found sitting outside her apartment, wrapped in fancy blue fabric and decorated with a gold-colored ribbon on top of it.

It looked like an innocuous, elegantly packaged gift. A far cry from the usually highly cursed mail she would get.

There wasn’t any name written on it that may indicate who the sender was and after a few more minutes of pondering, she decided to open it.

Sitting on the floor, she delicately unwrapped it, careful not to rip the expensive looking wrapping paper.

Then Cryptic opened the box.

And immediately recoiled in terror.

A well-preserved and _definitely real looking_ heart was sitting in the box, together with a piece of paper. On it, there was a message written in silver ink:

_Happy Valentine’s Day, dear little sister._

_Sorry for only giving you an animal’s heart, but I thought you would appreciate my gift more when you know that no human died for it. I like to consider your feelings too, you know._

_– Love, Fool._

Cryptic let out a string of curses and had to hold herself back from storming out to search for a certain suit-wearing, masked villain and wring their neck, her morals as vigilante be damned.

Little did she know that a few days later, one of the professors at her college will give out a notice telling everyone that his most prized possession – an old heart of a now extinct animal species that had been preserved for life with the aid of a quirk – had mysteriously disappeared.

Whoever brings him back the heart, will be promised to receive a reward of 800$.

Of course, the police will be initially suspicious of Cryptic bringing back the heart, but she will be quickly dismissed from the list of suspects due to being quirkless.

The preserved heart had been, after all, protected by strong protection measures that have all been utterly obliterated, leaving behind traces of a destructive quirk.

And Cryptic will pocket the much-needed money and begrudgingly acknowledge the gift her villainous family member had left for her.

* * *

Extra scene 2:

Hekate sighed as they glanced down at the three beautifully wrapped gift packages laid in front of them, each one revealing a fresh, bloody heart inside. They hadn’t quite known how to react when they received them and now too, Hekate felt the need to sit down with Fool and give her a serious talk about what constitutes as a proper Valentine’s gift.

Of course, they still felt touched by the sentiment but, well. How was one even supposed to react to three still beating hearts delivered to their doorstep?

Along with the three boxes had come a rose-tinted letter that read:

_Dear Hekate,_

_Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope you’ll like my gifts for you – don’t worry, the previous owners of these hearts were all selfish bastards who had only hurt people during their pathetic lives. If possible, I’d have liked to gift you a greater number of hearts, sadly I could only spare four of them and one heart was already reserved for the LOL._

_If you don’t feel like keeping them though, just call me and I will be coming to retrieve the three hearts and sell them on the black market for you. I’ll buy you another belated Valentine’s gift from the profit they’ll make. But you know, I just thought you’d appreciate to have the hearts for at least a day since they are the signature symbol of this holiday._

_Don’t tell the others from LOL about this though, otherwise they’re going to nag my ears off about selling their heart for them too._

_– Love, Fool_

_♥♥♥_

**Author's Note:**

> If you are a poor soul who stumbled onto this without knowing what's going on, here you can find most fics published in this universe:
> 
> [other works](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=broken+reality+server+-fandom&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&tag_id=%E5%83%95%E3%81%AE%E3%83%92%E3%83%BC%E3%83%AD%E3%83%BC%E3%82%A2%E3%82%AB%E3%83%87%E3%83%9F%E3%82%A2+%7C+Boku+no+Hero+Academia+%7C+My+Hero+Academia) (some don't have anything to do with this AU though but were created in the BR server as well so)


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